Au weh! Your Doctor Captain** is back in 200910 with another new Pack O' Divas. To the intense dismay of their opposition and family members, the Screaming Divas have reformed as an unlikely band of 4.0 3.5 7.5 Combo GVTL USTA players, a small, racially homogenous group of fanatical tennis players representing all sectors of the economy - healthcare, education, retail, legal, and occasionally the shadier side of the "adult" entertainment industry.

Contact:

Doctor Captain O' Captain

386.679.7351

lynn@cosmicscribbler.com

www.CosmicScribbler.com

http://www.facebook.com/lynnkoller

www.ScreamingDivas.net

"I am here to play women's tennis. I'm a lady. Predominantly, most of the time I always like to play ladies."

"Ladies, here's a hint. If you're up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That's the hardest shot for the well-endowed." 

Billie Jean King

The Screaming Divas are a loosely affiliated group of middle-aged women - some more middle than others - in Ormond Beach, Florida, seeking to improve their lives through the purchase of ill-fitting tennis attire and intermittent comic relief.

The Screaming Divas have ravaged the courts of Tomoka Oaks since 2003. During the Summer of 2004, the Divas had big, big news for all those Diva fans: The Divas had formed the Diva SEALS, an elite commando unit of specially trained Divas, established in order to combat the intensely competitive vee-men in the USTA tournament. The Diva SEALS were prepared for covert operations, planning to work undercover as lushes and drunks in local bars. In any case, the Diva SEALS floundered and lost the USTA tournament to the flagrantly underrated and over-sober team from out west. Throughout the 2003 - 2004 season, Captain Joni has led the Divas to many, many losses ... albeit aided by the Divas' own essential ineptitude ... and is rumored to have gone insane.

The Divas are accepting applications for membership in the Screaming Divas Fan Club. One Diva's young son is president and has what some might find as an unhealthy obsession with the Divas. Members may be entitled to autographed Diva sports bras and/or tennis panties.

Email your application by clicking here or type a paragraph below, in Oxford English, describing yourself and your qualifications. Be sure to include your email address in the box, as the Webmaster couldn't figure out how to create a separate field for that information. You will be contacted, perhaps, subsequent to the Diva Review Board's evaluation of your submission. It's also possible that this form doesn't work, so if you receive no response, you can find a Diva sitting at your local bar, where you can personally submit an oral application. Do not, however, use the word 'oral' with a drunken Diva, as you may find that she begins frantically reaching for you.