Au weh! Your Doctor Captain** is back in 200910 with another new Pack O' Divas. To the intense dismay of their opposition and family members, the Screaming Divas have reformed as an unlikely band of 4.0 3.5 7.5 Combo GVTL USTA players, a small, racially homogenous group of fanatical tennis players representing all sectors of the economy - healthcare, education, retail, legal, and occasionally the shadier side of the "adult" entertainment industry.

Contact:

Doctor Captain O' Captain

386.679.7351

lynn@cosmicscribbler.com

www.CosmicScribbler.com

http://www.facebook.com/lynnkoller

www.ScreamingDivas.net

"I am here to play women's tennis. I'm a lady. Predominantly, most of the time I always like to play ladies."

"Ladies, here's a hint. If you're up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That's the hardest shot for the well-endowed." 

Billie Jean King

When one of our sister-Divas manages complete her fourth decade of life as a Diva, the Divas celebrate. A few years ago, we had one Diva do just that. We will not reveal her identity, but suffice to say, the birthday jubilee likely included McDonald's burgers and one feisty Latin lover. We celebrate her lyrical style of tennis with this rhyme.

At Least You’re Not Dead

Your birthday, Woman, marks time for celebration
Though you may choose to celebrate with some type of sedation
No one would fault you for finding the combination
Of wrinkles, spots, and physical deterioration
The cause of a natural and transitory frustration

So you’re a day closer to the day of your death
It’s been the same since you took your first breath

From the day you were born until the last beat of your heart
You are continually traveling away from the start

But the glorious thing about the age that we dread
Is that if we turn forty, we are not yet dead

You could take the route of those who vent their desperation
By scheduling that wretched and high-priced operation
That alters the effects of breast presentation

Experience trumps youth, at least in your case
(For less fortunate people, age is their sad coup de grace)
You know that time creeps at its petty pace
And that while gravity is pulling our parts out of place
Not silicone, but saggy knockers warrant embrace

While you may have hit formal middle-age
You are still a player on your lifelong stage

When your life goes amok and you have problems galore

Be happy that at least you are not a ... [finish this line and win a front row seat to a Diva match].

Theme Song

We have a theme song.  The song file is rather large, as the Webmaster did not want to sacrifice any of Tina Turner, even to benefit those on a dial-up connection.  It takes quite a while to load for the first time on a broadband connection and the Webmaster imagines it will cause some issues.  If you have broadband, click here to play Tina Turner's "Private Dancer" (2,464 kb).  (To download the song, right-click on the link, and left-click on "Save Target As" ... You know the rest.)